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The Law Office of Cathy Steele, P.C.

THROUGH THE EYES OF A CHILD

Recently, with the assistance of my 20 month old nephew Nicholas, I had the opportunity to reexperience the joys of adventure. And what a joy, our only tool to this high tech excitement, a flashlight. What fun we had, using the light to look in nooks and crannies, following it along the edge of a wall and over a ceiling beam, holding it up to fabric and seeing it diffuse through to the other side. Imagine what we could have done with a prism and sunshine! It would have been a miracle unfolding.

Our lives, as legal professionals are hectic, full and stressful. It’s no surprise that lawyers rank highly amongst professionals who suffer from incidence of stress. How can we attempt to provide balance and moderation in our lives when they are often fraught with adversity and attack? Society has provided us with numerous remedies and theories over the ages: prayer, Esalen, EST, meditation, 12 step programs, exercise, magnets, rolfing, chiropractic, auyervedics, massage, Tai chi, herbs, kickboxing, visualization and counseling. Some in society choose self-help modes such as divorce or homicide to remedy some of the problems they encounter. I think that what we seek when we look for comfort, solace, respite and relaxation is a way to find our center, to become grounded. To bring back to our lives the spirituality, in whatever form, that we hopefully experienced as young children. To be able to wake up and view each day as an adventure, to look at something through new eyes and be astonished by the magic of life.

If you look through your book shelves, you will probably find the self help books which many have collected over the years. Interestingly, the new literature is really nothing new. The promoters of the "mind body" connection and wellness espouse the same philosophies as the sages of time. They say it is necessary to rid yourself of the worries and stress of this day and to let go, return to that sacred place. For some it is spiritual meditation or prayer, for others, who cannot, or think that they cannot ever shut down the activity in their minds, there is exercise, yoga, and many sorts of relaxation practices that help focus concentration, center the mind and spirit, fuel the chi, spirit, life essence.

How can we attain this meditative or spiritual quality in life? It can be achieved in many ways. None are right or wrong, we just must find the option that works best in our lives. It is not difficult to understand why, after years of an intense level of thought and work in a harried practice, we could find ourselves, in a state, which, although not persistent and vegetative, certainly requires an outlet for release.

In our day to day existence there isn’t always time for a forty minute workout, a trip to the therapist, massage therapist, healer or spiritual guide. There may not even be time for heavy duty meditation. But there is always time for a "mini". Alice D. Domar, PhD., Director of the Mind/Body Center for Women’s Health at the Mind/Body Medical Institute and an assistant professor in Medicine at Harvard Medical School is an ardent advocate of the scientifically significant research that supports the proposition that good physical health, wellness and recovery from illness are all enhanced by reducing stress and increasing relaxation by using meditation and other techniques. She was recently in St. Louis and upon two occasions taught the groups to whom she spoke, how to do a "mini". This is a deep breathing technique (I would use the word exercise, but it might scare off some of the readers) which doesn’t take much time and can provide almost instantaneous results. These mini relaxation exercises are focused breathing techniques which help reduce anxiety and tension immediately. They can be done any place, any time. I encourage you to try them and adopt them, they really work.

Switch to diaphragmatic breathing. If you are having trouble, try breathing through your nose and out through your mouth. Or take a deep breath. You should feel your stomach rising about an inch as you breathe in, and falling about an inch as you breathe out. Remember, it is impossible to breathe diaphragmatically if you are holding your stomach in. So for this purpose, relax your stomach muscles. As you inhale, count very slowly up to four; as you exhale, count slowly back down to one. Thus as you inhale, you say to yourself, "one, two, three, four," as you exhale, you say to yourself, "four, three, two, one."

Repeat this several times at intervals throughout your day.

In my life I have found that one very important tool to carry in your arsenal is a sense of humor. I’m taking for granted that we all have the skills necessary to provide quality legal services to our clients. Some of us could probably use some business management courses and a few could probably benefit from a refresher course on interpersonal skills. Throughout all our endeavors I hope that we encourage, develop and maintain a keen sense of humor. To me, it helps in a lot of ways. It diffuses tension, it promotes thought, it encourages guffaws and giggles and yet lacks the calories of chocolate.

I have been blessed with a good life. I have always espoused that what goes around comes around, never questioning the philosophy of giving back to the community. I believe in it whole heartedly. I’ve come to identify the principle that what you give is returned to you in manifold ways as "karma". But it was never necessary to give it a name, I grew up in a community that helps and shares, and it certainly is in this light, that as a lawyers, as well as members of this community we do what we can, by giving not just money, but time and energy to our community to make it a good place for all members to live.

My many role models have demonstrated skills for living a balanced life. I am blessed with loving and generous parents and family, supportive friends, and a loving, supportive and caring spouse, with whom I learned to develop and appreciate a sense of humor. My mentors, from both legal and other professions, prominent and wise, taught me to work hard, to develop my skills and intuition, to act with honesty and integrity and then, at the end of the day, to go home. Not surprisingly, the work will still be there tomorrow. Many have shared their war stories, helped me to develop, I hope, a good head on my shoulders, a sense of loyalty and fairness, a network for finding those resources necessary to do my job properly, and a gut instinct to do the right thing. At the end of each day, if you know that you did your best, then you should be able to put it all aside, and get back to it later.

Recently I took up scuba diving. What a metaphor for life. What person in their right mind would don apparatus for self contained breathing at 70 feet below the water’s surface. The life lessons in the training for this endeavor are simple. Pay attention, follow the rules, never dive without a buddy, stay calm and most of all remember to breathe. And whether you are under water looking at the amazing life and ecosystem of the great barrier reef, on top of a mountain gazing at an astonishing and expansive panoramic view, in your corner office looking at the hustle and bustle around the courthouse, or in your back yard barbequing with friends, remember to see the sights through new eyes, breathe it all in, experience the sounds of the ocean, of the vast expanse, of the traffic, the songs of friendship and the chatter, the colors of life, the movement, the energy, try to reconnect with the energy of the universe. Just as car engines require fuel to operate, it is vitally important to refuel yourself, in ways that are appropriate for you. Fuel your body, fuel your mind, fuel your spirit. Try every day to see something new as if for the first time, with wonderment and amazement, through the eyes of a child.

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Evening and weekend appointments can be arranged.

The Law Office of Cathy Steele, P.C.

225 South Meramec Avenue, Suite 511
Clayton, MO 63105
Phone: (314) 727 – 7551
Fax: (314) 862 – 5626

Clayton, Missouri, lawyer Cathy Steele serves clients throughout St. Louis County and the St. Louis metropolitan area.